Oi
by singingrain
Summary: Naruto somehow convinces Sasuke to go on spring break trip in the Bahamas together. And it just happens to be on a private boat, where they'll be very, very alone. NaruSasuNaru.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not receive any monetary gain from ripping off Masashi Kishimoto's characters and putting them in my own weird little situations. So please do not sue me, as the only things I have of value are a laptop and a strawberry mooncake.

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><p>"Sasuke!" An exuberant blonde screamed across the lecture hall of a Psychology 101 class. The object of the blonde's rather attention-grabbing salutation was attempting to burn a hole through the projector screen at the front while trying to ignore the over-zealous man.<p>

Said man was having none of it.

"OI! SASUKE!" Naruto bellowed louder, then started to make his way in between a row of seats to reach the stubbornly pissy entity that was the current Sasuke. Ignoring student protests and general scrambling to ensure the safety of their laptops from the legendary destructive force that was scuffling through the row, Naruto reached his target in record time.

"Sasuke," he started, this time in a voice more suited to indoors, "You'll never guess what Ero-sennin just promised me!"

Sasuke, giving up the long-lasting but ever-failing fantasy that Naruto would leave him alone if he ignored him long enough, let out a deep, long-suffering sigh. Then, escaping from his lips as if a demand:

"What."

The bubbling blonde shuffled intimately closer, and stared seriously at Sasuke for a few seconds. Then, a pounce, and Sasuke was being shaken violently from his shoulders by the grinning idiot.

"He promised we could use his boat over spring break!" Naruto let out, once again at a volume that promised internal ear bleeding.

Sasuke flung himself backwards and locked himself into his seat in a bid to get Naruto to stop trying to shake him into a concussion. Naruto conceded, and plopped himself in the neighboring seat.

"The registered sex offender, Jiraiya," Sasuke commented coolly on Naruto's news, "has promised to lend you the very boat he got arrested on."

Naruto took his turn to sigh. "Sauke, you make it sound so bad. It was a statutory rape charge from having sex with a groupie who had a week until she turned eighteen! It wasn't that bad!" Naruto voiced raised slightly from defending the man he thought of as a father-figure, while several students heads snapped around at the word 'rape.' The teacher passing by who had only just arrived, let his attention be drawn by the words 'sex' and 'groupie,' and strolled over to the boys.

"Care to share?" he asked, face hidden by a turtleneck and hair flopped over one eye, but displaying his obvious curious smile by the curving of his visible eye.

"Well, you see, Professor Hatake, my uncle was once part of this band, The Sannins, who had this one-hit wonder, Densetsu no Sannin," Naruto began to ramble. "You may have heard of them. They broke up pretty quickly after they had their single though, and my uncle Ero-sennin bought this motor yacht/fishing boat and lived on it with a bunch of his groupies, except-"

"Ok, he gets the picture," Sasuke cut in, getting impatient. "Now, Mr. Hatake, will you please start class? It was supposed to have started five minutes ago."

Kakashi's one showing eye managed to look dejected as he trudged to the front of the lecture hall, leaving the boys to argue about the merits of sharing Jiraiya's rather dubious sexual history to a man who was reputed to walk around reading porn books and on occasion put pictures from Hustler and Playboy onto his lecture slides.

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><p>After class, as Naruto began to complain about an upcoming test and they started heading to the dorms, Sasuke brought up the boat again.<p>

"So why would Jiraiya agree to lend you his boat for a week?" Sasuke asked suspiciously. It seemed a bit too generous to be catch-free.

"Well," Naruto began, "He's on some sort of writing kick now and is holed up in his apartment scribbling all day…" Naruto trailed off and became fascinated with the walkway, staring at it intently. Seeing Naruto failing miserably at acting innocent, Sasuke prodded him further.

"And?"

"And-I-may-or-may-not-have-promised-to-get-him-a-date-with-the-old-hag-Tsunade." The blonde blurted out, talking so fast the sentence almost became gibberish. Sasuke smirked smugly. He knew there had to be something. And he was greatly amused at the impossible situation Naruto had managed to place himself in.

"You plan to convince Tsunade to go on a date with the one man she finds the most exhausting to deal with?" Sasuke snorted lightly in laughter. "Good luck with that."

"Ah-ha, you think I can't!" Naruto accused, pointing his finger at Sasuke defiantly, "But I already have a plan! All I have to do is convince her to take a bet against me, and voila! I'll win and she'll have to go on the date!"

Now it was Naruto's turn to smirk smugly, but he only managed to grin cheekily. Beaming, he slung an arm around Sasuke's shoulder.

"Since we're done with class today, I'm gonna go look for her now. Wanna come with and watch the magnificent Uzumaki at work?"

"I'll pass," Sasuke replied nonchalantly. "I know you don't know what it is, but I'm going to actually study for the test."

Sasuke gingerly removed the arm from his shoulder like a person trying to move a dead bug, and walked off in the direction of their dorm room.

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><p>A dark, haggard figure stumbled though a shadowed hallway, gripping the wall desperately for support. Coming upon a door the man stabbed wildly until a key slipped into the lock. Turning the handle and collapsing in through the doorway, the man landed on all fours and began crawling agonizingly forward.<p>

"Stop being melodramatic, Naruto."

A lounging Sasuke had admonished the man acting like a B-movie actor. Said B-movie star dragged himself over to the remaining bed dramatically and flung himself onto it like it was the last motion he would ever make.

"But Sasuke," he breathed out, "You have no idea what I've just been through."

"No, and I don't particularly care, either," Sasuke retorted, focusing his haphazard attention back to the textbook he had been flipping through. Naruto dropped the act and rolled to his side to get a better look at his roommate.

"So cold, Sasuke, so cold," Naruto pouted. "Don't you even want to know if we're going to be able to use the boat?"

Sasuke, continuing to flip through the textbook, gave a non-committal grunt. His response was met with a sigh and the other man flopping back down onto the bed.

"Well, I did it. The old hag is going on a date with Ero-sennin, and we're gonna be in the Bahamas for spring break."

A quick flash of a book being thrown across the room was seen before it smacked into Naruto's arm. Naruto sat up with a protest to find a very peeved looking Sasuke.

"First of all, when did it become the Bahamas? And secondly, when did I even agree to go?" he spit out.

"Eh? But Saaaasuke," Naruto whined, putting up his best puppy dog face, "We always spend spring break together!"

Sasuke's eyes closed in exasperation. He hadn't been able to resist against that puppy dog face since they grudgingly became friends when they were twelve years old. And considering that face was the reason they had spent every spring break together for the last seven years, it wasn't looking to good for him. He opened his eyes to find that the blonde man had snuck infinitely closer and had his chin resting on the edge of Sasuke's bed. His impossibly bright blue eyes were gazing upwards and glistening in the soft dorm light. With Naruto's lower lip slightly puckered and quivering, Sasuke was defeated.

"Fine. We'll go," he conceded, with a long-suffering sigh. "Just stop making that face."

Naruto lept up and jumped on top of the man. He quickly hugged him tight before Sasuke had a chance to knock him off, and leapt backwards exclaiming,

"YES! Sasuke, this is gonna be so awesome!"

While Naruto did a victory dance around their dorm room, Sasuke pondered on what exactly he had gotten himself into.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I obviously do not own any rights to the Naruto series. Or Hurricane Hole or Austin Powers.

**A/N:** All places described in this fanfic will indeed be ACTUAL places, as the entire story is loosely based on a friend's holiday trip to the Bahamas.

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><p>"You never did tell me why we're going to the Bahamas."<p>

Sasuke and Naruto were sitting in the airport terminal. To kill some time until the plane started boarding, they had grabbed a bite to eat, and were now lounging in the waiting area. Naruto took another huge bite of his burger (unfortunately there had been no place that sold ramen) and replied with his mouth full.

"An' you ne'er tol me how you ma'aged to get an A on tha test."

Sasuke swallowed his fries and smirked.

"I know it's a foreign concept to you, but I actually studied. Now, why the Bahamas?"

Naruto managed to choke down his mouthful and answer.

"The boat just happened to be in a marina there. It's in the capital, something that starts with an N-"

"Nassau," Sasuke cut in.

"Right, right. Nassau. So we'll fly there first and then head up to the Berry Islands."

Sasuke started to open his mouth to speak but Naruto stopped him by covering his mouth with one hand.

"I know what you're going to ask. What and why the Berry Islands, right? Well, I have no idea what they are, but Jiraiya suggested them because apparently it's the coolest place we can go to in the quickest time."

_And it's relatively deserted. Leaving only you and me, alone, on a small boat in the middle of the ocean,_ Naruto thought to himself, removing his hand from Sasuke's mouth, as Sasuke looked like he was entertaining thoughts of biting.

While Naruto delved further into the Sasuke-and-him-alone-in-the-middle-of-nowhere thought train, which left him drooling with his eyes glazed over, Sasuke wished he had gone ahead and bitten the idiot's hand.

Sasuke finished picking through the rest of the fries and decided to leave Naruto to lose himself in whatever stupid thing he was thinking about to leave him with that idiotic face.

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><p>Upon their arrival and clearing of Immigrations, Sasuke was in a bad mood. Standing in lines always put him in a bad mood. Unfortunately, it came to a culmination at the baggage claim, when Naruto wasn't there to supervise him and where he quickly engaged in a vicious battle over his luggage with a woman toting three kids and a verifiable truckload of bags.<p>

"Ma'am, that's my bag," Sasuke ground out with as much politeness he could muster. The mother of three responded by throwing out a death glare that almost rivaled the patented Uchiha one, and put a child down so she could put her hands on her hips.

"Sir," she began sarcastically, "I think I know my own luggage."

"No, obviously you don't," Sasuke bit back, and then simply picked up the bag in question and started to head towards the Customs line Naruto was already waiting in. The woman shrieked for security, squealing that her bag was being stolen and pointing to Sasuke as the culprit.

Naruto looked around curiously for his traveling companion just in time to see the man get tackled by two airport security guards. Thankfully, the scuffle was short-lived as Sasuke had seen Naruto's attention on him and gave in to the security people just so he could figure out a way to blame this whole thing on the blonde-haired idiot. As he, his bag, and the smug looking woman were dragged off for questioning, he decided on pinning it on the whole stupid trip in general.

In the questioning room (which looked suspiciously like an employee break room), Sasuke assessed his new tackle-induced bruises and pointed out the blatantly obvious nametag on the offending piece of luggage with his name on it. He then opened the bag up, revealing what were obviously a young adult male's clothing. The woman was chastised, Sasuke was free to go, ready to blame Naruto, and all was right in the world again.

"This is all you and your stupid idea for a trip's fault," the suspected thief accused his friend who had been waiting just outside, and whose occasional snickers could be heard in the 'interrogation room.'

"Well, you could have, you know, maybe just talked it out instead of acting like a second-rate purse snatcher." Naruto attempted to hold back yet more snickers while Sasuke imagined burning holes into that stupid smiling face with his glares as they both made their way into the line to finally clear Customs.

* * *

><p>"Welcome to Hurricane Hole Marina. Your boat's right over here."<p>

Naruto and Sasuke were led past glittering luxurious yachts to an area on the far side of the Marina, where the vessels began drastically decreasing in size, until they came upon it.

"_Fishin' for Some Lovin'_. PLEASE tell me this isn't the boat. And if it is, PLEASE tell me it is a horrible, horrible misprint," Sasuke ground out. The offending boat title was plastered across a 37 foot motor yacht. It was a nice sized boat compared to some of the smaller ones around it, and because of its fishing tower it loomed above the small sail boat next to it. Naruto was dumbstruck.

"Sasuke, who gives a flying fuck about the name, do you SEE this thing!" He practically squealed as he ran past the marina's employee to jump into it. "It's GLORIOUS!"

Sasuke stared at the name, thoroughly disgusted, then thanked the attendant and gingerly climbed aboard. Meanwhile Naruto, who had been running around madly to check every surface and cupboard, poked his head out from inside of the cabin with a sly smile.

"Oh Saaasuke," he taunted, "You are going to looove this." He beckoned with his finger. Sasuke cautiously stepped forward. The last time Naruto had acted like this was when he had rigged a tomato slingshot to go off when Sasuke entered their dorm's bathroom. He would rather not have tomatoes mechanically flung at him again. It was a waste of perfectly good tomatoes.

"What is it?" Sasuke replied, skeptically, as he hovered around the door, wary to go in.

Then he saw it.

Through the glass sliding door, Sasuke saw what could only be described as 1970's throw up. Burnt orange galore, blue shag carpeting, and _Oh god, is that a disco ball? _Sasuke balked and staggered forward into the horrendous room. Further in front of him, down a tiny little staircase, was a room which housed a heart shaped queen sized bed.

"Am I on a set for an Austin Powers movie?" said the stupefied man. All around him were hideous reminders of days gone past – a lava lamp sitting on the kitchen counter, a medallion necklace hanging from a towel hook – it was pure horror.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," the blonde companion countered. He looked around, reconsidered, and burst into laughter.

Fifteen minutes later, Naruto, with tears streaming down his cheeks, was attempting to stifle yet more laughter so he could gather himself up off the floor, while a sulking Sasuke sat in a seat at the boat's little dining table (covered of course with orange linoleum), wishing that his glare could actually burn holes in things so he could set the whole damn boat ablaze with his fury.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I don't have money coming out of my ass from owning Naruto, Atlantis, Coach, or Hello Kitty. Therefore, it's useless to sue.

**A/N:** Once again, all places mentioned in this fic are actual, real places.

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><p>The boys decided to dump their bags and go shopping for supplies while they still had daylight. Walking in the direction of the enormous peach colored towers that dominated the landscape, they found their way to the road. Across the traffic circle, people were flooding in to what appeared to be a strip mall.<p>

Curious, and excited at the prospect of finding a supermarket they could buy supplies at, they hurriedly crossed over. Upon making their way through the gate and rounding a corner, they discovered something else entirely.

"Did we just sneak into some sort of super-rich yacht club?" Naruto asked, confused.

They were in what appeared to be a high-class miniature marina village, in which a dozen or so ridiculously large yachts were docked in the marina alongside it.

"I think some of those boats are cruise ships in disguise," Sasuke replied, for not only were they large enough, but there seemed to be an awfully large amount of tourists bustling around in the village.

The peach towers in close proximity and a supermarket nowhere to be seen, they decided to continue on in the hopes of finding an information desk somewhere.

Passing a diamond jewelry store and, strangely enough, a takeout pizzeria, they followed a crowd into the nearby building. They were immediately struck by the smell of cigarettes and a massive amount of noise. Venturing deeper, they realized they had entered a huge casino, and trekking through further, while trying not to breath in copious amounts of smoke, they finally happened upon what looked vaguely like a hotel lobby.

Walking over to the nearby desk, Naruto asked the burning question.

"What IS this place?" he asked intensely. The woman working the counter seemed confused and slightly concerned.

"This is the hotel lobby, sir."

Sasuke let out a little snort-laugh and Naruto rephrased.

"No, I mean, what is this whole place," he gestured widely with his hands. "We just got to Hurricane Hole Marina and we've never been here before."

"Oh," the woman exclaimed, "You are in the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island. This is the main hotel lobby, as I've said, but even if you are not staying in our hotel, there are several activities you can participate in and facilities you can make use of. We have a water park, a casino, a shopping district called the Marina Village, and much more. " She flashed her best business smile. Seeing Naruto become a little too excited at the words 'water park,' Sasuke cut in.

"We're not interested in all that," Sasuke began, "but could you tell us where we could buy some supplies for our boat?"

The woman's smile diminished somewhat, but she replied cordially. "You can take a quick water taxi ride over to the mainland for provisions, " she stated. "The ones out in front of the hotel go directly to Nassau's famous Straw Market. From there, you can find several shops that are within walking distance, or you can just get a taxi to take you any place you like."

"Thank you for the help." Sasuke replied, and dragged Naruto out the nearby front door before he bolted for the water park.

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><p>"I thought you said the boat was in Nassau," Sasuke admonished while they were riding the water taxi. "Apparently we are on some sort of offshoot island instead."<p>

"Well, I was close. Look how near the shore is." A glance to the left, and he continued. "Look, there's even a bridge connecting them! Wait a minute, then why did the lady tell us to take the water taxi?" Sasuke realized what had been done and sighed in defeat.

"Because the resort gets a cut of the water taxi's profits, while they get nothing from us hailing a regular cab."

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><p>"Hey, this place is pretty cool! Maybe it wasn't a waste of time after all," Naruto exclaimed, looking in wonder at a gigantic tent set up on the banks. Sasuke, now closer to it, inspected.<p>

"Yeah, this place is great," he began sarcastically, "I know how much you've been wanting a knockoff Coach purse. Or a Hello Kitty straw basket."

Ignoring the large part of what was said, Naruto commented on the market.

"Oh, that must be where they get the name!" Now right upon the tent, he dove into the first isle. "Look at all this stuff made out of straw!" There were fans, hats, sculptures, and a MEGATON of purses, all made out of straw. Naruto emerged from the crowded isle he had been perusing to grab Sasuke and drag him along. All kinds of jewelry, carving, knockoffs, and of course straw creations, lined the cloths that served as walls and dividers in the circus sized tent. Going straight through to the back, passing a booth that hosted numerous suspicious-looking bootleg DVDs, they popped out the back of the tent and onto a busy sidewalk.

Spotting an ice cream parlor across the street and nothing but clothing stores to either side of them, they opted to grab a cab.

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><p>After a busy day of running amok around town, they settled down for the night into the atrocity that was their boat's bed. Naruto couldn't help but feel smug: together throughout the whole day, and only one bed to sleep in at night. Well, the table did make into a bed, but it smelled vaguely of rotten fruit and cheese and was only about 5 feet long, so neither man would agree to inhabit it. As such, this put him and Sasuke together for an entire week into a bed that must have been specially bought from some honeymoon hotel.<p>

Things were definitely working out in his favor.

* * *

><p>They set out in the morning after Sasuke somehow managed to convince Naruto that he didn't battle the old hag for the boat just to go to a water park.<p>

Captaining the boat that morning had posed a slight problem, however.

"_No, no, I got this Sasuke. I drove that motorboat on the lake once, remember?"_

"_I remember you almost got us and some innocent kayakers killed."_

"_They came out of nowhere!"_

"_They were sitting still, taking pictures."_

"_Nevermind that. I know exactly how to work this thing. You just push forward on the throttle, steer, and follow this map looking computer screen!"_

"_We are going to die."_

"_Oh loosen up, Sasuke."_

"_I'm putting on a life jacket for when you ram us into something and we sink."_

Still wear his handy dandy life jacket, Sasuke took another drink of his beer and relaxed on the back deck. Naruto climbed down from the control tower and Sasuke tossed him a drink off his six pack.

"Ah, I knew it was a good idea to get shitloads of beer. Can't fish without it," Naruto concluded.

"We aren't fishing yet. And if you're down here, who's driving the boat?"

"I think I set it on autopilot. If that's even what it's called on a boat. But now that you mention it, we should do something about that fishing thing," Naruto said as he began rummaging around for some fishing gear.

"Oh that's great, you THINK you set it," Sasuke countered, then looked at Naruto as curiously as an Uchiha could. Naruto was opening a packet of what appeared to be two small fish with wires coming out of their mouths. "What are those?" he asked.

"Well, that guy I started talking to in the shop yesterday, he said these are great to use as bait for trolling," the blonde explained.

"And what exactly is trolling?" Sasuke asked, slightly peeved at Naruto's display of unknown knowledge.

"It's when you drag a line behind you while you're moving. He said its great to do while traveling around and is a good time killer for long trips. Since we've got around another, say, seven hours 'til we get to the Berry's, we have plenty of time to do this."

"Alright then. That sounds fine." Sasuke conceded and helped by grabbing an extra rod and going to the opposite side of the boat.

"So we just stick the rod into the little holder, bait the line, then let it go?"

Naruto answered by demonstration. He finished attaching the fish and tossed it in the water. The reel started turning madly as the movement of the boat took out the line, and then he tightened the tension on the reel just to keep it from being pulled out anymore by the water, but not enough to stop a fish from pulling on it.

Sasuke followed suit, and they sat back down on the deck's seats next to the cooler.

Then they waited. And waited. And waited.

But the boys steadily grew bored, and Naruto searched his brain for a topic of conversation. Coming upon one, Naruto blurted it out into the silence.

"So, are you really gay?

Well, subtlety never had been his strong suit. In fact, it was once remarked that Naruto would make a god-awful ninja, simply because of the fact he had no filter between his mind and mouth and tended to just splurt whatever the hell happened to pop in his head at the moment.

Sasuke, utterly confused, managed to get out a "What the hell?" before Naruto stumbled forward with this particular thought track.

"I saw on your demographic sheet. For the pysch experiment we had to be guinea pigs in. There was this little box for sexual preference, and I was looking at your answers and saw you check the homosexual box."

Pretty shocked, confused, and slightly wondering why Naruto felt the need to cheat off him on a sheet that asked basic questions such as name and age, Sasuke sat in contemplative silence while his companion rambled on.

"I mean, I always thought you were **A**sexual! All through our teenage years you seemed completely uninterested in what guys are supposed to be obsessed with at that age! Hell, I was one of the only people you hung out with back then! Well, except for your emo phase where you hung out with that random Karin girl's crowd and you wore that weird purple lipstick with dark makeup and freaky contacts and occasionally those creepy fake wing-things… wait what was I talking about? Ah right! So are you? You know, gay?"

The young man who had just spewed word vomit shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Meanwhile, Sasuke pondered the question, the man, the man's sanity, and then finally reveled in the discomfort he was bringing to said man. He left an awkward silence in the air so he could further bask in the uneasiness he was bringing to the outgoing man who rarely if ever was socially awkward, then opened his mouth to speak.

"And if I am?"

Naruto faltered at the noncommittal response and floundered to search for an answer. Subtlety, again, not being one his strong points, he ended up revealing more about himself than gaining any insight about Sasuke.

"I'm bi myself, so I would be totally cool with it. I'm not going to think differently of you or anything- Ok, what the hell is that?"

The last part was said in regards to the annoying whirring sound emitting from the reel closest to him. Sasuke jumped on the change of topic and yelled.

"It's the reel! You caught a fish, idiot!"

Adrenaline kicked in and Naruto leaped up out of his seat, flying over to the line. He began reeling in the line with all his might, all the while whining to Sasuke how tiring it was, and how Sasuke should get the net, and he bet it was going to be a huge fish, and Sasuke would see just how amazing a fisherman he was. Sasuke half-listened and wondered what on earth had spawned their recent conversation and HOW on earth did he not know Naruto was bisexual?

However, vague thoughts of how Naruto actually looked kinda sexy flexing his muscles while reeling in the line, even if he was being annoying and wouldn't shut up, were vanquished by what was found at the end of the line.

"Holy shit, it has fangs!" exclaimed the excited blonde. "Did I just catch some super rare type of prehistoric fish!"

Sasuke let out a snort of laughter.

"It's a barracuda, dipshit. And it appears to be a baby, at that." Naruto good-humoredly pretended to be affronted.

"What do you mean? It's at least… a foot long! But it's a 'cuda huh. Damn that sucks."

"Why?" Sasuke asked. "We can still eat it, right?"

"We could, and other people do, but Ero-sennin said we shouldn't. Something about how it eats other fish with poison so it has a lot of poison." He shrugged.

"Poison?" Sasuke voice rose slightly in pitch as he uttered the word. "Throw it the hell back!"

"Alright, get the hook out of its mouth then."

Sasuke glanced at the fish, which was gaping its mouth and flopping around wildly, making slapping sounds against the deck. Minuscule as it was, it still had teeth.

"You've got to be kidding. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my hand anywhere near that thing's mouth."

They both stared at the dying fish for a moment before Sasuke went to the boat's tool cabinet (which had been discovered last night while searching for more coolers for the beer). He rummaged through a pile of what had to be at least forty Phillips head screwdrivers before he came up with a rusted pair of pliers.

He made sure they still worked and came back to the fish, which had apparently given up and was now simply lying still on the deck.

"Is it dead?" Sasuke asked, looking disinterested.

"Maybe," Naruto replied. "Go ahead and take out the hook, though."

Sasuke closed in on the fish with his pliers and latched onto the part of the hook sticking out.

Suddenly, the fish thrashed violently back to life and nearly jerked the pliers from Sasuke's hands.

"Dammit fish, stay still!" Sasuke ground out through clenched teeth as he twisted and turned the pliers, trying to unhook the barb.

After a bit more of a struggle, Sasuke twisted in just the right way and the fish flung itself free.

Alas, it did so only to fall about three feet and smack itself on the hard deck of the boat with an impressive thud.

Motionless again, the fish was swept off the deck by a swift kick from its dark-haired previous opponent and slipped into the water.

"Great, we saved the little guy!" Naruto optimistically commented, placing one hand on his hip and griping the rod with the other in a triumphant pose. However, watching the fish stay on the surface of the water, lying on its side, with no sign of movement and being swept out by the boat's churning wake, Sasuke drew a more accurate conclusion.

"No, I'm pretty sure we killed it."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the Berry Islands. Although it would be pretty badass to own a super-popular manga/anime series AND an entire set of islands in the Bahamas.

**A/N:** All settings are real places. Meaning, you too can go to Hoffmann's Cay if you have a weird uncle with a boat and a crush on a bad gambler.

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><p>The boys arrived in the Berry's at Hoffmann's Cay just as the sun was beginning to go down. Knowing next to nothing about where to anchor, they puttered around until they saw another boat. Assuming that the other boat at least knew what it was doing, they gave it some space and anchored up nearby (of course, not really knowing what they were doing, this was a challenge. "So do we just drop it off the side?" "No, I think it's mechanized." "Oh! I think I found the switch!" "You're just flashing the lights on and off, idiot. Try another one.").<p>

"So what now?" Sasuke asked. Naruto, although disappointed by the run around he had gotten all day in regards to the man's sexuality, answered cheerily, for a new delicious topic had come up.

"We can't do anything 'til the sun rises tomorrow, so might as well go to bed."

Their previous night together had failed miserably when Naruto had passed out on the bed way before Sasuke joined him. Airplanes always had made him sleepy.

"It's only seven, Naruto," Sasuke countered, rolling his eyes. Naruto briefly looked dejected before perking up at a new idea.

"Well then, let's say hi to our neighbors!" He suggested with an excited smile. Sasuke looked over at the other boat. The catamaran sailboat had its cabin lights on, but he wasn't sure about 'boat etiquette.' _Can we just ride our dinghy over and climb aboard? _He mused to himself curiously, while Naruto pulled in the line that had been towing said watercraft on the way over.

"Come on, let's go!" the blonde exclaimed, dragging his more reluctant companion along with him into the tiny boat.

Naruto drove them over to the neighboring sailboat and, much to Sasuke's expectations, began screaming at it.

"HELLOOO," he called. "ANYONE HOOOME?"

A woman's head peeked out from an open hatch, looking curiously. Seeing two attractive boys and getting sick of dealing with her brothers and their video game addiction, she welcomed them on.

"Hello there!" She smiled, waving. "Why don't you come aboard and have a drink? I was just making piña coladas!"

Naruto's grin turned impossibly wide as he hopped off the dinghy to begin tying the towline down. Sasuke simply resigned himself with a sigh and climbed aboard once Naruto was done.

"Hey, guys," The woman began, coming out of the main cabin. "That yours?" she said pointing in the direction of the _Lovin'_. Naruto opened his mouth to agree before Sasuke cut him off.

"We're borrowing it from his uncle," Sasuke answered, motioning to Naruto, and placing special emphasis on the work 'borrowing.' He didn't even want some random stranger on the ocean to think he owned that monstrosity.

"Oh that's pretty nice! We're chartering ourselves. Cost a shitload, but my dad was determined to get my brother out in the world more. I'm Temari, by the way. What about you guys?"

"I'm Naruto, and grumpy-ass here is Sasuke," the blonde answered. "So your brother is inside?"

"I've actually got two brothers, and yeah, they're inside. Playing video games. Again," she said, rolling her eyes.

"What game?" Sasuke questioned, perking up a bit.

"They're playing that stupid Xbox moving thing. Kinect I think."

Sasuke's minuscule excitement he had shown went back down. Kinect had too many stupid looking movements, and not enough zombie killing. Naruto, on the other hand, became really interested.

"You can do that on a boat?" He asked excitedly. Temari, seeing his interest, groaned and placed her head in her hands.

"Not you, too," she teasingly cried. "Go on in there, I'm sure Kankuro will let you play. But be warned, Gaara is a little too into it."

Registering names and the fact he might get to play, Naruto tucked himself into the main cabin. Sasuke, left alone with a girl he had just met a few minutes ago, shifted his feet, wondering what to do. Temari took charge, though, and asked him if he wanted a piña colada while extracting the necessary blender and ingredients from the cupboards. Nodding in assent, he took a seat on one of the outside benches and watched her blend everything together.

Having finished mixing the drinks, Temari poured two glasses and handed one over before she plopped down next to the raven-haired man.

"So you're gay, right?" She interrogated, locking her eyes with his. Sasuke balked. Was there something in ocean air that made people overly interested in his sexuality? He maybe could understand his best friend's curiosity on the subject, but this random stranger?

Sasuke eyed her drink. Maybe this was far from her first one. Staring into her burning eyes, he decided that was the case and decided to answer.

"Yes, I am," he replied unashamed, and took a sip of his drink. "Why?"

"HA-HAH!" the blonde woman exclaimed. "I knew my gaydar was still good!"

Sasuke let out a tiny snort of laughter.

"I usually know immediately, but your friend confused me," she stated, taking a long pull from her glass.

"Ah, that's right," Sasuke remembered with lingering surprise, "He's bi."

"Aaah, that explains it," Temari said, reassured. "I knew my gaydar was good. I'm the one who outed my brother, you know," she added, nodding sagely.

"Your brother is gay?" Sasuke asked tentatively, glancing towards the cabin the boys were in.

"Yup, the younger one, Gaara," Temari answered, then finished off her drink. Seeing Sasuke's slightly apprehensive gaze at where the rest of the occupants were, a vicious grin appeared on her face.

"You know, when Gaara sees something he likes, he just jumps on it," She began sneakily, watching Sasuke's expression intently. "He's a handsome boy, too," she added slyly.

Sasuke got up from his seat.

"I'm going to see what game they're playing," he announced.

* * *

><p>Sasuke had walked in on a rather curious scene, and was now sitting watching Naruto and Kankuro play table tennis (looking like idiots, he might add), trying to digest it.<p>

He had walked in just in time to see Naruto beat Gaara at his favorite game, and Gaara's pale face go from an infuriated red to an adoring blush.

Now Gaara was sitting next to Sasuke, watching Naruto like he was some kind of god, leaving Sasuke to wonder what the hell was going on.

Temari came in from fixing herself another drink (this time just tequila and ice; Sasuke blanched at the sight), and grabbed the seat next to him.

"Soo, wha're you guys plannin to do tomorrow?" She asked, beginning to slur her words just slightly.

"I read in a guidebook there's supposed to be a blue hole here, so probably check that out," Sasuke offered, eyes still trained on the enraptured redhead on the other side of him.

"Ah! Tha's where we're hea'ed too! We sho go togezher tomorrow mornin!"

Temari grinned as Sasuke put on a sour face. Naruto however, just finishing his game of ping pong and overhearing their conversation, turned around and joyfully accepted.

"Sounds great!" he said, "But what's a blue hole?"

"It's a sink hole on land that's filled up with water," Gaara answered in a low voice, intense eyes trained on Naruto's. "It'll be fun."

* * *

><p>After few more hours of Temari's drunk ramblings, Gaara's obsessed gaze, and of course more Kinect, Sasuke decided it was time to leave.<p>

"Naruto," he called to the man who was playing a boxing game with Temari and losing horribly, "It's already past 10. Let's go get some sleep."

Naruto whipped his head around, lighting up, while Temari put in the final blow to his game character.

"Aw, Grandpa Sasuke, is it past your bedtime?" he teased, grinning ear to ear.

"C'mon, let's go. I'm tired," Sasuke replied dryly. "And wipe that shit-eating grin off your face," he added as he headed towards the deck. "You just got your ass handed to you by a drunk girl."

"Well guys, it's been fun!" Naruto called, ignoring Sasuke's last comment as he hastened to follow the man. "See you tomorrow morning!"

* * *

><p>Sasuke entered their cabin with a sigh. He was only going to wake up to have to deal with those idiots again.<p>

Naruto tripped over a cooler they had left out and flailed wildly before smacking the deck with a thud.

_Then again, I'm traveling with the biggest idiot,_ Sasuke thought to himself, letting out a little chuckle.

"Hey, turn on the A/C when you drag your ass off the floor," Sasuke said aloud. "It's fucking hot." The temperature inside the cabin was almost unbearable, making him sticky and overheated. Naruto gingerly picked himself up and replied sheepishly.

"Our boat only gets A/C from shore power. Ero-sennin said he broke the connection to the generator or something."

Sasuke flopped onto the bed and sighed. The heat was overpowering, making him not want to move or even get angry like he wanted to. It was just too hot.

"I'm gonna take a shower tonight. You?" Naruto opened all the hatches to let in some of the cooling breeze blowing outside.

Sasuke groaned and rolled over onto his stomach. Into the pillow, he answered a simple "No."

Naruto shrugged, and took off his shirt. A cool shower would feel nice. As he closed the door to the bathroom and began to rinse off, Sasuke had time to think about what had happened that day.

Naruto was bisexual, and had somehow managed to hide it for the entire time they had known each other._ Then again, he didn't know I was gay until recently either,_ he mused. And after all, Naruto had only really gone after one person in the past, Sakura, and she was a girl, so how was he to know. It's not like they really talked about these things. Well, Naruto did sometimes ramble about his love life (or lack thereof), but Sasuke mostly tuned him out and, of course, was less forthcoming with his own.

So Naruto was bi, and now some weird boat neighbor with a crazy sister had some sort of creepy crush on him. And apparently they were all set up for a play date tomorrow. _It's not my problem,_ Sasuke reminded himself, trying to forget the way those pale eyes focused on Naruto with a hunger. _Besides, it's not like we're even going to see them again after tomorrow._

His thoughts then side-tracked as to what exactly they were going to do for the rest of the trip, trying to push the overbearing heat from his mind while running through the things he had glanced at in the guidebook. Naruto came out of the bathroom, wearing just a pair of shorts, laughing to himself.

"Dude, there's a bottle of orange-colored lube in the shower that's older than us."

"Great," was Sasuke's dry response.

"So Sasuke," the freshly showered man said seriously as he turned out the lights and made his way through the dark towards the bed. "That guy Gaara was gay, wasn't he." It was a statement, not a question, and Sasuke didn't reply. Naruto lay down on the other side of the bed and gingerly asked, "You never gave me a real answer earlier. Are you gay?"

Sasuke pondered not answering the man again, but then realized that Naruto already knew, but just wanted to hear it from Sasuke's own mouth. So he gave a nonchalant reply.

"Yes."

"When did you realize?" The blonde pressed on, looking a little too interested.

"Guys were always more interesting than girls to me, and when I hit puberty, they just became interesting in a different way, I guess," said the boy unconcerned about the topic, just sweating and preoccupied with the heat. Naruto answered the reciprocating question without being asked.

"I realized in middle school gym class, when we started taking communal showers. Saw a friend's body and BAM, knew I wasn't into just girls."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke asked, now slightly more interested. "Was that in 7th grade when you popped a boner and half the guys ran out panicked?" Naruto's cheeks colored a bit and his hand flew up to tousle his blonde hair.

"That's the one."

Sasuke snickered into his pillow.

"Hey, Sasuke," the man's voice became quieter and lower in pitch, and his eyes gazed into his companion's and Sasuke's head turned at the sound of his name. "I feel like we're closer now, you know?" Sasuke let out a breath and closed his eyes. There was a light sweat upon his brow.

"We are closer," he began.

Then he brought up his foot and kicked Naruto in the stomach.

"Because you keep inching closer to me," he finished coldly. "Keep you and your fucking body heat away from me. I'm way too hot to deal with your unnatural heat emissions."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Gaara (and his fantastically creepy self) is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. And oh yeah, those other ninja guys are owned by him, too.

**A/N:** Settings described are real places. Fortunately, injures described are simply plausible and not actually real.

* * *

><p>"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" Naruto screamed as he woke up with a certain redhead's face about an inch from his.<p>

Sasuke, who had still been sleeping beside him, bolted upright. His initial alarm at Naruto's call disappeared however as he took in what was happening on the bed.

Gaara, having not moved from atop the blonde, and Naruto, having not been able to move considering Gaara's particular perch, were still lying there with their faces impossible close, staring at each other. And while Naruto might have looked slightly panicked, his new friend was looking quite pleased.

Sasuke roughly pushed the redhead off of Naruto and the bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" The now very awake Sasuke snarled as Naruto sat up looking extremely confused.

Gaara, picking himself up as best he could from the jumble of clothes he had landed in, ignored Sasuke's presence but answered the question while looking at Naruto's bare chest hungrily.

"I came to wake you up. Kankuro's ready to go."

"Uh, ok," Naruto spoke for the first time besides his initial outburst. "Could you just wait out on the deck for us then? We'll just get ready really quick." He then flashed a good-natured smile, making Gaara retreat reluctantly and leaving the two friends alone.

"Ok so that was kinda creepy," Naruto remarked as he threw his legs over the side of the bed and started searching for his swim trunks.

"Kinda?" Sasuke countered, raising an eyebrow impossibly high, as he found his own trunks and went into the bathroom to change.

Naruto conceded as he pulled on his recovered shorts and laughed back at Sasuke through the bathroom door, "Ok, so not kinda. Definitely."

Sasuke came out as Naruto was pulling on his favorite burnt orange t-shirt.

"If only you could blame that –thing- on your uncle, too," he gestured to the shirt.

"Oh you know you love it!" Naruto teased, opening the door the back deck and ducking through it. Sasuke crinkled his nose up in a disgusted look before following through the open door.

"Hey guys!" Came an exuberant call from Kankuro. "Ready to go? We'll take our dinghy 'cuz it's a little bigger. Let's go!"

Temari, from her seat on the floor, let out a groan.

"Will you just. Shut. Up."

"Don't mind them; Kankuro's just too excited and Temari's a little hungover. Let's just go," The youngest of the trio commented coolly.

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged amused glances and then climbed into the dinghy, the rest of the crew shortly behind them.

Kankuro sat at the back controlling the motor, Temari on the right with Sasuke, and Gaara and Naruto on the left as they set off.

"So I went exploring a bit this morning and saw a dinghy tied up on a beach around the other side of the island!" Kankuro yelled into the wind. "So I think our best bet is over there!"

Sasuke yelled back, keeping his eye on his blonde friend and the redhead that was sitting just a bit too close, "You mean you don't know where it is?"

"Well, I just know that it's inland and there's supposed to be a trail to it. So if we find the trail, we're good!"

Sasuke and Temari both let out a groan.

* * *

><p>Luckily, Kankuro's guess had been right. Once they arrived at the spot and beached the boat so it wouldn't float away, they could clearly see a trail going through the thick foliage. Kankuro, of course, led the way, with the rest of the troop following behind in a single line. The trail was a bit of an upward hike, and Gaara, who had somehow conveniently placed himself behind Naruto, commented on the nice 'view.'<p>

"But all we can see are bushes and trees," Naruto said back at him, confused.

Sasuke, in front of the two, let out a sigh at Naruto's idiocy. Then he spotted something up ahead in the trail that made him crack into an evil smirk.

"Hey, Naruto. There's a spider web in the middle of the trail up ahead."

Naruto stiffened slightly and began looking around cautiously.

"Not cool, Sasuke, not cool."

"Whatever do you mean?" Sasuke attempted to reply innocently. Naruto wasn't scared of spiders, as he so often reminded people, they just gave him the creeps.

"Oh look another one," Sasuke pointed out casually, as Naruto clenched his teeth and forced himself to keep walking.

"Hey, I see it you guys!" Came a call from up front, and soon they were all running towards the voice, everything else forgotten.

"Holy shit." Naruto muttered as they stood atop a cliff looking directly down at an ethereally still and deep blue water formation that looked as if it had taken up residence in a collapsed cavern.

"I believe that's the technical term, yes," Temari remarked, panting and eyeing the blue hole, as she finally made it up the trail.

"Well," Naruto broke into a huge grin, "Let's get in it!" He said as he took off down the end bit of the trail that curved downwards into the crater.

Sasuke let out an affectionate snort and followed suit, being closely followed by the rest of their makeshift group. At the bottom there was a type of shoreline provided by the rocks where Naruto was busy fighting to get his shirt off his head. Sasuke simply tossed his own off and went to the edge of the water, dropping one foot in. It was surprisingly warm. Naruto, obtaining victory over his shirt while the siblings went about shedding their unneeded belongings in a more orderly fashion, looking up from his won battle to see Sasuke already getting in, shouted out and leaped out into the blue abyss.

Sasuke cried out in panic, drawing the attention of the rest of the group.

"What happened?" Gaara asked coldly, noticing a big ripple pattern and a decidedly missing blonde.

"That idiot just jumped in! Without knowing if there was a huge-ass rock or something right there!" Sasuke was fuming and scanning the blue expanse for speck of blonde. The visibility of the water seemed to be wretched.

At last, Naruto came bursting up through the water, sputtering with joyous laughter.

"Guys, this place is awesome! The water at the top is really warm, but the deeper you go the colder it gets. And you can't see jack shit! And it's actually salt water! Did you guys know that?"

Sasuke stared at his idiotic friend while he once again spewed nonsense, and then attempted to charge towards him. Attempted being the keyword, as the man slipped with his second step and landed, hard, on his backside.

Naruto, of course, burst into hysterical laughter, and swung backwards to float off on his back, laughing as he drifted away.

The siblings, now approaching the water themselves, let go a few chuckles themselves. Gaara in particular had a smug humor about him.

Sasuke, indignant, swallowed his pain as best he could and gingerly got up to continue further into the water, this time very, very careful of the slippery rocks.

"Aww, come on Sasuke, afraid of another little tumble?" Naruto teased as Sasuke bit back pain and fury. The blonde, seeing the lack of usual stinging response, took a closer look at his companion who had now reached the drop-off in the rocks and was trying to push himself fully into the water. His brow was creased, his mouth was clenched, and his whole body seemed stiff.

As Naruto swam closer to investigate, a certain forgotten redhead who had entered the water swam up to meet him.

"Hey, Naru-"

"Not now, Gaara," Naruto cut him off, "I think something's wrong with Sasuke."

Sasuke heard this and thought, _No shit, Sherlock_. But instead said, "There's nothing wrong."

Gaara watched with intense eyes as his two siblings, now in the water as well, watched with curiosity.

"Bullshit, Sasuke." Naruto said to his friend, now seriously concerned. "You're the one that wanted to come to the blue hole in the first place, and now you're are clinging to those rocks for dear life."

Sasuke cringed. He was right, dammit. Well, not like he was going to admit it.

"There's nothing wrong," Sasuke repeated, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. "I just don't really feel like swimming right now. Actually, I think I'll just get out of the water and lay out for a bit. You're always telling me I'm too pale," he tried to joke.

Temari let out a snigger and swam off towards the other side of the ring of water. Kankuro followed suit, while at first Gaara stayed to see if Naruto was coming. However, the blond still seemed to be preoccupied with fussing over his friend, so Gaara decided to join the others in their exploration efforts.

Meanwhile, Sasuke had somehow managed to very carefully pick himself up out of the water and lay out a towel. Lowering himself upon it incredibly slowly, he heard Naruto splash as he emerged from the water.

"Seriously Sasuke, what's wrong? Are you mad because I jumped in first?"

Sasuke turned his head to look at the complete dunce staring back at him. Was he really that stupid?

"Or are you embarrassed about falling? Cuz its not that big of a deal," Naruto tried to comfort. Sasuke looked at him incredulously. He really was that stupid.

"Naruto, why can't you just realize that I hurt myself when I fell and ignore it like the other idiots here?" Sasuke ground out in exasperated frustration.

"EH?" Naruto cried out happily. "That's all it was?"

"I really, really want to hit you right now."

* * *

><p>After a good couple hours of swimming for most of the group and a move to the shade for Sasuke, the group gathered on the rock shore for the lunch that Kankuro had thankfully thought about.<p>

"Man I'm sooo hungry." Naruto commented as he snatched a sandwich out of the little cooler. "Hey Sasuke, aren't you hungry? Why don't you sit up and eat?" he teased in between bites. "Oh that's right, you got a boo-boo on you tushe," he laughed.

"That's right, I got a boo-boo. Now shut up and hand me a sandwich," Sasuke countered dryly from his position of lying on his stomach.

"Oh come on, Sasuke. Just sit up – it can't be that bad."

Before Sasuke got a chance to respond, Naruto had pulled down the back of his friend's trunks to look for himself. He immediately released his grip, though, and red-faced Sasuke frantically pulled them back up.

"What the hell?" He sputtered. Naruto just continued to stare at the ass which was now cloth covered again.

"Holy shit."

Sasuke, confused, spat out, "Is that the technical term?"

Temari, now feeling much better about her hangover, chirped "Yup!"

"Your tailbone and the left side of your ass are a nice shade of purple," Kankuro chimed in, munching on his sandwich.

* * *

><p><em>Sasuke's going to murder me in my sleep tonight. Or possibly as soon as we're alone. Why did I think going to the middle of nowhere alone with Sasuke was a good idea? Heh heh, oh yeah. Well, I did get to see his ass today and granted, it might have been pretty beat up, but it was still a very nice-<em>

"NARUTO! Wake the hell up; we're back,"

Naruto snapped out of his inappropriate thoughts and back to reality as he was thrust forward onto the back of the _Lovin'_ by a depressed looking Gaara.

"We have to sail back to Chub Cay this afternoon," Temari explained, "But it was really fun hanging out with you guys." Throwing a wink over to Sasuke, and tossing her head towards Naruto, she added, "Make sure you take care of that cute little tail end you got there."

Sasuke, getting her innuendo and not appreciating it, simply glared while Naruto gave a confused wave to the group as they motored away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I did not make Sasuke emo. Masashi Kishimoto did that all by himself.

**A/N:** OH SNAP. Super long chapter. Well, at least for me. Still shorter than some oneshots.

And again, places described are really real. Like ManBearPig. I'm super cereal.

* * *

><p>Sasuke did not, in fact, try to kill Naruto, or even attempt to maim him. And while this made Naruto a very happy man, it also concerned him a great deal, because not only was this an unusual response, but now it actually seemed like Sasuke was trying to <span>avoid<span> Naruto. And considering they were stuck on a not exactly gigantic boat together, that was pretty hard to do. But there it was.

When Naruto would walk into the cabin, Sasuke would walk out onto the deck. When Naruto attempted to follow, Sasuke climbed (very carefully, mind you. His butt still hurt pretty badly) up to the bow of the boat. Everywhere Naruto went, it was sure to chase Sasuke away.

_Well this isn't exactly looking too great for me right now,_ the jilted man mused. _I have no idea what's up with that guy. He's not angry – well maybe a little, judging from his little glares – but he's never really acted like this before… but it's kinda like when… ooooh now I get it._

Naruto let out a little triumphant smile and called out to his friend who had moved to the back deck after Naruto had tried meeting him at the bow.

"Hey, Sasuke! I'm sorry, ok?"

"What for?" Came the reluctant grumpy reply.

"Well, remember when we were freshmen in high school and I kissed you at that party, thinking you were Sakura?"

Sasuke grunted at the memory and muttered under his breath, "Who the hell mistakes their best friend for the girl who keeps rejecting them? Even if you were drunk."

"You didn't talk to me for like a month after that. It's because I super-embarrassed you, right?"

Sasuke mouth turned into a hard line and kept quiet.

"Right? So I super-embarrassed you earlier by pulling your shorts down, right? 'Cuz I'm sorry about that. I didn't really think about it."

Sasuke mused on how Naruto was such a bloody idiot but could still manage to have little glimpses of insight. He had ignored Naruto then and was ignoring him now because of the same reason: he needed some space to sort out his emotions. Gaara and his obvious lusting after Naruto had stirred up something he thought had died a long time ago – jealousy. So Naruto got the connection between the events, just mucked up the cause.

Sasuke sighed and gave up. He'd only been planning to ignore the blonde for a couple of hours anyway.

"Ok let's just go with that reason. So it's fine," he called. Naruto quickly made his way around to where Sasuke was at the back and smiled that shit-eating grin of his.

"Good! Now let's go snorkeling!"

Sasuke let out a snort of laughter at the sheer stupidity of it all and followed Naruto in grabbing his snorkel gear.

* * *

><p>"Ok, so that was pretty…ok… I guess," Naruto fumbled as he attempted to salvage what had to have been the most boring snorkel ever done.<p>

"Oh yeah, we saw all sort of fascinating sea grass," Sasuke quipped as he started putting their equipment away.

"Well you didn't tell me there were actual snorkel site around here we could have gone to!" Naruto accused playfully. Sasuke pretended to be annoyed and countered.

"I'm not the one who decided to go snorkeling by just hopping off the back of the boat before my good friend Sasuke could get a word in otherwise."

"Hmm, I don't seem to remember having a good friend called Sasuke… Oh but I do seem to have a friend called Bruise-Butt," Naruto ribbed mercilessly.

"Oh do you now?" Sasuke asked mockingly, raising one of his regal brows. "Then I seem to remember you volunteering to put ice on Bruise-Butt's ass tonight."

Naruto, caught off guard, had to kick himself mentally to not respond suggestively. He choked out what he hoped was a casual laugh and bolted for the cabin.

"First shower!" He called.

* * *

><p>After both boys had taken their (cold) showers. Sasuke went to the ice machine and wrapped some ice up in a dry towel.<p>

"He ya go, ass-man," he taunted coolly while handing the towel to Naruto and laying down on the bed belly-down.

_This is a trap,_ Naruto thought panicked. _Or one of life's cruel, cruel jokes_, he mentally added, looking down at the object of his desires who was currently laying on their shared heart-shaped bed, anxiously waiting for Naruto to touch him. Well, kinda.

Naruto, remembering that this was all because Sasuke was actually hurt, gave his libido a good scolding and placed the makeshift ice pack as gently as he could on his friend's rear end. Sasuke let out a hiss.

"Sorry, man. I tried to put it on softly," the blonde soothed. Sasuke gave a slight nod and closed his eyes to start dozing off.

"Hey wait, you can't just go to sleep like that," Naruto started.

"Why not?"

"The bed'll get soaked when the ice melts," he finished.

"Well how long should I ice it for then?"

"Hm, maybe 30 minutes or so? Just to help with the immediate swelling."

Sasuke groaned at the idea of his ass actually being swollen. Naruto assumed that was acceptance of the wait and decided to make small talk to pass the time.

"So you haven't ever dated a guy yet, huh?"

Ok so not so much small talk. _He's seems to have a fascination with this topic_, Sasuke thought exasperatedly.

"Why would you say that?" _Might as well humor him. He did actually help put ice on my butt. Wasn't really expecting him to go through with that._

"Well, I would've known about it," Naruto said confidently. Sasuke let out a little snort of laughter.

"Yeah, probably. You do hang around me an excessive amount. So no, I haven't dated a guy before."

Naruto allowed himself a little happy dance in his head and a giant grin on his face as he replied, "And here I always thought it was you hanging around me. So is there any guy you'd want to date?" He pried, a bit of nervousness coming through in his voice.

Sasuke shifted slightly, uncomfortable. This wasn't exactly a safe topic with the blonde, and regardless, it was beginning to feel a bit like the start of a mushy girl-talk. Still, he answered, even if it wasn't clear at all.

"I suppose." And then before a slightly shocked Naruto could say anything else, Sasuke pushed himself up from the bed and announced the ice-time sufficient, calling a quick, "Night," before turning off the lights and crawling into bed.

And so an insanely curious Naruto was left going through his mental inventory of guys that could possibly be Sasuke's type.

* * *

><p>Naruto woke up the next morning with another person way too close to his face. Thankfully, this time it wasn't Gaara looming over him, but rather a sleeping Sasuke rolled over on his right side to face his bedmate. It really wouldn't have seemed that strange if it was concerning anyone else, but Sasuke had always had a tendency to sleep on whatever side had him face away from the most people in the room. Guess the bruise on left side of his butt really did hurt.<p>

So Naruto, who had woken up on his left side staring into his friend's miraculously serene face, took a moment to study it. This was, after all, a rare chance. Sasuke's weird fluffy hair had fallen over his right eye, and matted to the side of his head where he had laid on it. (And guessing from what Naruto usually woke up to, it was sticking straight up in the back.) Sasuke's usually terse mouth was relaxed and smooth, and the seemingly permanent crinkle in his brow had disappeared.

_Overall a very pleasant sleeping face,_ Naruto decided as the man in question began to wake up.

Sasuke flicked his eyes open a crack, blinked a few times, and took note that Naruto was staring at him.

"Creeper," he muttered at his audience before shutting his eyes to drift back to sleep.

* * *

><p>"Ok, so what's the plan?"<p>

"Why do you always assume I have a plan?" Sasuke asked peevishly.

"Because you do. Now, what're we doing today?" Naruto cheerfully replied. Sasuke conceded. He always had a plan because the idiot never had one. Well, a good one, at least.

"I thought we could just hang around here for the day and then go to a place called Flo's Conch Bar for dinner."

"Alright, chillaxing and Flo's." Naruto paused. "What's a Flo's?" Sasuke gave an amused snort before explaining further.

"The guidebook says it's a great place to go in the Berry's. Pretty much the only restaurant or business or anything around here. It's just on Little Harbour Cay not too far from here so we can take the dinghy in, too."

"Alright, sounds good. So what do we do in the meantime?"

* * *

><p>So after a snorkel at an <em>actual<em> snorkel site ("Look, Sasuke, there's actually a reef! And fish!" "And look, our old friend the sea grass."), they started a foray into windsurfing that just about tired them out by the time they figured out how to put the one that was stowed on board together.

"Why the hell do they make these things so freaking difficult?" Was Sasuke's cross question. "I doubt the sail is even possible to set up with one person." He crossed his arms and glared down at the offending piece.

"Well, look on the bright side," Naruto chirped. "At least it's a new one, right? Cheers for Ero-sennin and his mid-life crises!" He tossed a cheeky grin as he jumped onto the board. After a severe wobbling episode, he stood up straight and beamed at Sasuke.

"This'll be a piece of cake."

Sasuke raised a dubious eyebrow. Sure, Naruto was naturally athletic, but he also had no idea what he was doing.

"Go for it then," was all the encouragement Sasuke offered. Naruto bent down and picked up the sail confidently.

Or tried to.

Leaning over like he knew exactly what he was doing, he reached for the sail floating in the water only to realize he was throwing all his weight forward. And this was tipping the board. A loud –splat- was heard as Naruto tried to regain balance but ultimately ended up falling flat onto the piece of thin plastic skimming the ocean surface.

Sasuke let a few chuckles go as he watched Naruto not only struggle to rid himself of the sail but then climb back on the board. Naruto ignored him and decided take two was going to involve a lot more focus on balance.

He crouched down into a squatting position, careful to keep his weight centered. He steadily reached for the sail's mast from its limp position in the hinge connector an the center of the board. Taking a hold of it, he suddenly realized the odd rope they'd attached to the base of the mast to the handle in the middle of the sail while constructing the windsurfer must actually have a purpose. And that purpose was to keep balance!

He let go of the pole he had been holding and instead snatched the rope. Slowly but surely he 'climbed' the rope hand over hand and he simultaneously rose from his crouched position and pulled the sail out of the water for the first time. Reaching the end of the rope, careful to maintain his precious balance, he switched his hold from the rope to the handlebar.

He had the sail!

_Uh, now what?_ Naruto thought smartly. But it ended up he didn't have to do anything, as a gust of wind came along, blowing his sail and recently acquired handlebar into his face and toppling him over backwards into the water with a spectacular splash.

* * *

><p><em>Sasuke is being relentless today<em>, Naruto pouted, thinking about the day while showering off before dinner. Not only had Sasuke laughed a good bit at Naruto's brilliant failure, but he also decided that watching the blonde's stupidity was a good enough marker of what not to do, and shortly thereafter hopped on the windsurfer and actually rode it. And he hadn't let Naruto forget the fact all day. _He was even teasing me about staring at him this morning, _he added mentally. _And I was sure he wasn't really awake yet and would forget it. _He sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair with one hand while his other grabbed for the towel. _Oh well. Just have to think of something to get him back._

Sasuke was changing into some dry clothes for dinner as he spoke to Naruto through the bathroom door.

"When I radio'd, I said we'd be there at seven. It's seven now."

"Eh?" Naruto called back. "How did the time go so fast?" He emerged from their tiny bathroom pulling down the rest of his shirt.

"Well, I believe you slept through most of the day with your after-failure nap," Sasuke gibed.

Naruto gave a fake laugh.

"Oh you're so funny. Now let's go!"

Sasuke nodded and they took off in the dinghy towards the south, where Flo's was supposed to be. After a decent ride, they came upon a small dock in front a lone building, which had on its roof in giant painted letters "YOU WELCOME." Naruto smiled at it.

They disembarked on the dock and tied the small watercraft off, noting another resident dinghy. They made their way past the beach – looking like it was made purely of conch shells – and climbed up an incline to the supposed restaurant building. A chicken passed by and eyed Naruto, cocking its head. Naruto followed suit and assumed a similar position.

_Where's a camera when you need one? _Sasuke thought, amused. He went ahead and opened the screen door of the building. Well, actually, at closer inspection it was really just a small building with a big screened-in porch. As he stepped inside, he discovered that inside the screened-in section there were quite a few wooden picnic tables and a bar with a few stools that lead directly to the kitchen.

The owners of the other dinghy they saw were there, too. Two men and a woman, already mid-way through their meal. Naruto walked in after Sasuke had taken all this in, and a head popped out from the kitchen at his arrival.

"Eh, how ya doin? Come on in and sit down," the man drawled in a Bahamian accent, looking relaxed. "Thought you guys might be showin' up soon." He came out with three paper plates in his arms. "Here ya go!" He said as he placed them down at the table the boys had chosen.

Sasuke looked down: fried grouper, fried conch fritters, and French fries. This was going to be delicious. Especially after the sandwiches and ramen they'd been sustaining themselves on for the last couple of days.

They ate in satisfied silence for a while until Naruto hit the conch fritters.

"OH MY GOD THIS IS DELICIOUS!" He practically screamed. The man who had welcomed them looked up and smiled from his seat at the bar. One of the men at the other diners' table, however, stood up.

"YES! WE ARE BROTHERS IN THIS APPRECIATION OF THIS GLORIOUS FOOD!"

Sasuke and Naruto stared. One slightly horrified, one looking delighted.

"Hey guys!" The man greeted as he walked over, obviously done with his own food, and took a seat at their table. "The name's Rock Lee! Your's?"

"Naruto and Sasuke," Naruto gestured as he finished swallowing another bite. "Guess your's was as good as ours, then," he said, pointing to the food.

"Most definitely! Actuall-" A hand on his shoulder cut him off. The woman in his party was standing behind him with an apologetic look.

"Sorry about him," she started. "He can be a little too…enthusiastic sometimes." Rock Lee just grinned and gave a thumbs up. "My name's TenTen, and this here antisocial guy is Neji," she introduced. Neji gave a nod as he sat down beside his male companion. TenTen took a seat on the opposite side and started making conversation.

"So what are you guys doing out this way? It's not exactly a prime tourist spot," she admitted, looking around at the mostly empty tables.

"We're on spring break, borrowing his uncle's boat," Sasuke offered, grabbing more conch. It really was delicious, but you wouldn't hear him screaming about it.

"Oh, you must be the boys on the live-aboard anchored off of Hoffmann's, then. We saw you on our way in from our anchorage near Soldier Cay." Sasuke nodded like he actually understood what the woman had just said and elbowed Naruto in the stomach when it looked like he would say something. Sasuke really didn't want a geography lesson.

"We're doing research here," she continued. Obviously she had bought Sasuke's act. "The lionfish populations seem to be increasing around this area in an alarming rate. We're hoping to find what's causing them to thrive so much."

Sasuke gave Naruto another elbow when he opened his mouth at first, but this time Naruto threw his friend a look and asked the woman what on earth she was talking about.

"What are lionfish?"

_Oh shit, here we go, _Sasuke groaned inwardly.

And then they sat there for the next hour. Even Neji chimed in.

* * *

><p><em>He really has some sort of unhealthy obsession with this,<em> Sasuke thought as he debated his answer.

They had finally managed to say goodbye to the research team in Flo's and make their way back to the boat when Naruto had casually asked Sasuke if either of the men they had met had been his type.

"Not at all," he replied, securing the dinghy's line and making his way inside the cabin. Naruto followed and pressed on.

"Well, what kind of type do you like, then?"

Sasuke felt like a teenage daughter trying to bat off her mother's probing questions – that is to say, exasperated and awkward. So he decided to change the situation a bit.

"Well," he began as he turned to look Naruto straight in the eyes. "I seem to have a thing for idiots." Naruto, completely missing the meaning of the statement, crinkled his brow with confusion.

"You're attracted to stupidity?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Chester is the name of the dude at Flo's. It's called Flo's cuz his mama's name is Florence. It's a pretty bitchin' place to go to if you ever find yourself around those parts. You know, when you become fabulously wealthy and buy your own boat to sail around the Bahamas, of course.

And in case anyone's wondering, lionfish are these funny little scorpion fish that are native to the Indo-Pacific that got introduced (there's a debate over how) into the Atlantic and are now taking over the reefs. They are considered an invasive predator that is killing wildlife and fucking up the ecosystem because they breed like bloody rabbits and have no natural predators. It's widely encouraged in the Atlantic/Caribbean area to kill as many of these little bastards as you can find.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, James Bond, or Frommer's guidebooks. Only cheesy dialogue involving the three.

**A/N:** Bond Cay is real. Unlike James Bond, which I only WISH was real.

* * *

><p>The next morning found the floating love hotel moving along to the next destination. Where exactly that destination might be, they had no idea yet, but heading south seemed like a good idea. Motoring past Flo's and onto the next little island took a good bit of the morning until they found themselves at new cay.<p>

"The guidebook says that it's called Bonds Cay," Sasuke told his friend. "Privately owned, though."

"Who, by Roger Moore?" Naruto laughed. Sasuke snorted.

"If you're going to make a joke, at least get it right. Sean Connery was obviously THE James Bond."

Naruto gave a bark of laughter.

"But Moore was in more films!"

"Consecutively, maybe, but Connery one-upped him in the total," Sasuke countered haughtily.

"But Never Say Never Again was just a Warner Brothers offshoot!" Naruto defended, getting a little TOO into the argument. Sasuke realized they were, in fact, seriously debating James Bond films simply because of a silly name similarity to the tiny little island they were near. But that didn't stop him from getting the last word in.

"Even without counting it, Connery had the same amount of films as Moore, AND he was the original. Now we should keep moving; we obviously can't go ashore here and I hear there's supposed to be really good fishing in this area," he changed the topic.

Naruto pouted while getting out the fishing gear.

* * *

><p>"So… really good fishing, huh?" Naruto said as they pulled in yet another line of sea grass. Sasuke ground his teeth and did an excellent job of trying to glare Naruto into oblivion.<p>

"That's what the damn guidebook said, yes," he bit out harshly. Naruto laughed at Sasuke's expense and made his way up to the boat's controls.

"Let's just keeping moving, Mr. Frommer," he taunted. "We can try trolling on the way to finding a place to anchor for the night."

Sasuke simply grunted unhappily in response.

Naruto started the boat's twin engines and pointed the boat in the direction of the nearest-looking land.

After about half an hour of Sasuke sulking passed before he eventually got bored of it and climbed up the tower to were Naruto was perched at the wheel.

Sasuke looked at the electronic map display screen, saw where they were headed, and plopped down next to the 'captain.'

"We can't go there," he sighed. "It's privately owned."

"Another one?" Naruto said sullenly. "Are there any along here that _aren't_ some rich person's ridiculous little get-away?"

Sasuke looked at the map. "Whale Cay and Bird Cay are also private," he mumbled, more to himself than to the blond, wondering where they would end up staying.

"Well fuck it," Naruto decided, hearing his friend's musings. "Well anchor off this one." He jabbed a finger at the screen. "Cuz it'll probably almost be dark when we get there."

Sasuke shrugged and gave up, ultimately not caring enough about it to start an argument. He got up to go downstairs to get a couple of beers. Beer always went good with... _Fishing. That's right, we were fishing_, he remembered, tossing a glance at the line as he headed toward the fridge.

Then he did a double take. The rod was almost bent in half, straining to stay in the holder. Sasuke rushed over. The line was incredibly taut, and the reel wasn't moving.

"Naruto, you bloody idiot!" He cursed. "Get your ass down here!"

Sasuke had begun reeling in the line when Naruto peered down the stairs at him.

"We caught something?" He asked innocently. Sasuke looked at him like he was possibly the most moronic human that had ever walked the earth.

"Yes, we caught something, and because you didn't set the reel, it almost broke the rod and the fish is probably dead by now because who knows when it was actually hooked," he explained slowly, making sure the blonde was really taking in his words.

Now it was Naruto's time to curse.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, taking over the job of reeling in the whatever-it-was at the end of the line. Sasuke graciously let him finish the job. _It was his fault; he gets to haul it in, _he thought.

It didn't take quite as long to pull it in as the other times had, simply because the line hadn't been allowed to run when the fish took it, and Naruto was soon seeing a colorful splash at the end of the line. He kept reeling in and the mahi-mahi was brought aboard with a thud.

Well, half a mahi-mahi.

To be more specific, a crazily flopping, bright yellow and blue, bleeding furiously, and bitten in half with it's tail completely gone mahi-mahi fish.

Naruto panicked.

"What the hell happened? What is it? Where are the pliers? Should we kill it?"

Sasuke just calmly started rummaging around for the pliers to get the hook out of its mouth. Naruto looked frantic.

"Sasuke, what do I do?" he whined as he started towards his unconcerned friend who was currently checking inside to see where his idiot friend had hidden the tool he needed.

Meanwhile, said cause of the disruption on the boat was busy thrashing around, splattering blood everywhere. And when Sasuke turned to tell Naruto to calm the fuck down, he saw the fish's work. Tiny little red specks covered essentially everything Naruto had walked near. And most of that everything was white, leaving the fish's handiwork in stark contrast.

"Naruto," Sasuke began furiously. "What the fuck made you think that bringing the **half-eaten**, **flailing, **and** bleeding** fish across the boat was a good idea?"

Naruto looked around in surprise, noting their new décor as the fish he was holding onto by the line gave a few final half-flops before going still.

"Uh… heh heh heh," Naruto laughed sheepishly, realizing what he had done. He rubbed the back of his head with his free hand. "So I guess I'm gonna be the one cleaning it up, yeah?"

Sasuke nodded slowly while glaring. Their boat was covered in fish blood. _Fantastic_, Sasuke thought sarcastically.

* * *

><p>They reached Bird Cay just as the sun was setting, anchoring their traveling '70s porno set on a nice sandy shallow area.<p>

"Hey, what day is it?" Naruto randomly asked as they were sitting on the recently cleaned back deck eating their dinner.

"Wenesday," Sasuke answered, curious. "Why?"

"Well," the blonde began. "We need to be in Fraizer's Hog Cay by Friday so we can catch our flight."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at this new piece of information.

"Good job telling the responsible one about this," He snarked.

"Good job being the responsible one and asking about it," Naruto countered with an amused twinkle in his eye.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and glared at Naruto and his uncharacteristically good comeback, but Naruto's eyes glazed over and he seemed to be lost in thought.

_Another uncharacteristic thing for him: actually thinking about something,_ Sasuke internally insulted. Then found himself a bit too interested in staring at Naruto while the blonde wasn't paying attention. _He really is quite a piece of eye candy_, he thought offhandedly.

Said eye candy furrowed his brow. If they had to be in Fraizer's by Friday, that gave them only about one full day left. _Tomorrow, _he decided. _I've got to do it tomorrow. While Sasuke still has limited escape options._


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** No matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to get Masashi Kishimoto to release Sasuke's sweaty sexy body to me through mind control. I've got to practice harder. Where is that damn pineapple?

**A/N:** Bird Cay is for real. Like, 12.5 million dollars up for sale, real. But I do not keep $12.5 mil under my mattress for private island purchases, and this is saddening.

* * *

><p>Sasuke woke up the next morning, sweating like mad and unbearably overheated. He looked at the blond in front of his face in frustration. He was barely perspiring at all. There was definitely something wrong with that boy. Getting up gingerly, careful of his hurt side, he changed his sweat-soaked clothes for dry ones and went outside to catch the breeze that was blowing gently out there, with the overcast clouds blocking out a good bit of the sun's intensity.<p>

In the lazy sunlight, he could make out the island they were anchored off of a lot more clearly than he could last night. There appeared to be some sort of structure on it.

He squinted at it, trying to get a better look, before deciding to brave the cabin's heat and grab the pair of binoculars in there.

Having retrieved them and turned them upon what he thought looked like a building, he saw more clearly what looked to be a big house, overgrown with greenery, and looking decisively abandoned. He looked harder and saw that there seemed to be a pool-like hole in the ground in front of the house, and a balcony on the second floor.

"Whatcha looking at?" Came a yawning voice.

Sasuke started a bit in surprise, then played it off as if he was simply adjusting the binoculars to look at something else.

"Looks like an abandoned house," Sasuke replied coolly. Naruto's face lit up, suddenly very interested.

"Cool!" He grabbed the binoculars, used them to stare for a few seconds, and then proclaimed: "Let's go!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow in question.

"You do realize that is a privately owned island."

Naruto nodded happily.

"As in, not for the public to enjoy or even walk upon."

Naruto nodded happily again, then ran inside the cabin to put on swim trunks and a T-shirt.

"C'mon, hurry up!" He excitedly called. Sasuke conceded with a sigh, something that seemed to be a common occurrence on this trip, and started pulling in the dinghy so they could take it to shore.

* * *

><p>"Look at all the sand dollars!" Naruto breathed, fascinated.<p>

Sasuke, decidedly less fascinated, pushed the wet hair from his eyes, glared, and wished one of the sand dollars would suddenly become very large and very hungry for a certain dumb blonde.

They had been on their way in when the dinghy had abruptly hit bottom, throwing the small vessel into a complete stop and sending Sasuke, who had been sitting towards the bow, completely over the front and into the extremely shallow water.

Why on earth Sasuke let Naruto captain the boat was still a mystery to both of the men.

Naruto reached down from dragging the boat across the sandy bottom and picked up a sand dollar while exclaiming about the crabs and starfish he was seeing as well.

Sasuke continued to glare, helping to pull the dinghy across the shallows.

* * *

><p>They eventually made it through the sandbar, motored to the beach, and left the dinghy tied to a particularly well-seated rock.<p>

Walking down the breath-taking white sand beach, only interrupted by the occasional conch shell, Naruto began to feel this would be an excellent spot for a romantic moment. He looked back at his trespassing partner-in-crime.

Sasuke was still attempting homicide with eyes alone.

_Or not,_ Naruto corrected wisely.

They continued to walk along the beach until they saw an opening in the brush that gave them a glimpse of the house they had seen only from a great distance. Naruto charged forward into the thick green growth with Sasuke following murderously behind him.

After covering a good bit of extremely overgrown ground, the boys came upon what Sasuke had correctly identified as a pool. Naruto ran to the edge, staring down into the giant empty pit with a dangerous gleam in his eyes. Sasuke guessed what he was thinking and offered his own thoughts.

"I'm not helping you if you climb down there and can't get back out."

Naruto looked down at the pool, at Sasuke, back at the pool, back at Sasuke, then finally at the pool's extremely rusted-looking ladders. He backed off the edge.

They moved their attention to the house. Now that they were up close, they realized it was really quite big. More of mansion size, really. But made of a white stone that had turned brown in some spots from the grime and housing lots of luxuriously large windows that had blinds haphazardly up, down, and skewed everywhere, it was obvious the house had been out of commission for a while.

The overcast clouds that had been looming over them since earlier that morning decided that then was the perfect opportunity to open up, and the rain began falling. Sasuke, looking to get out of the rain even though he was already mostly soaked, walked up to what seemed to be the main door and pushed. The door creaked open and Sasuke took a step inside, calling out to his friend, "You coming?"

Naruto hastily followed and rushed in. They had entered what looked to be a foyer that housed a nice looking wet bar off to the left.

Naruto let out a low whistle. Even though the place looked like it had been through a literal hurricane and the roof was leaking water in some places from the fresh rain, it was obvious that this place was once the very standard of luxury.

The slightly awed pair continued to walk through the house, coming upon a dining room, a kitchen, a game room, a music room that still housed a functional piano, and about four different bedrooms. Most of the furniture in the rooms was still there, and the appliances that occupied the house's rather expansive kitchen dated the house back to the 1950's.

Combing the house was proving to be increasingly interesting for the boys as they picked their way through little items left behind like a half-empty bottle of expensive looking vodka and an ancient looking linguaphone record covered with dust. However, the house was also proving to be increasingly hot. In fact, it became stiflingly so, and as Sasuke was ready to leave and walk back through the rain, Naruto starting focusing on a set of stairs they had seen in the main foyer.

"Come on," Naruto wheedled. "I'm sure the supports are fine."

Sasuke simply stared at the set of water-damaged stairs that looked decidedly unstable.

"I'll just stay here and laugh at you while you crash through them, then."

Naruto, not to be deterred a second time, bolted up the stairs. Once he made it all the way up and realized they were completely trustworthy, he headed back down to retrieve Sasuke, hopping up and down on a couple steps to prove to the skeptical man that it was safe.

"C'mon, stop being such a pussy," Naruto challenged. Sasuke threw a glare and headed up the stairs, whisking past the blonde.

They found a few more bedrooms upstairs, including the master bedroom, which for some reason was completely filled with scattered piles of books, as if it were a library. Sasuke now looked bored and extremely uncomfortable. The flat, humid heat of the house was getting ridiculous.

Just as he was about to tell Naruto that he was going to get the fuck out of this hellish oven, he saw a door leading to a balcony. Slightly curious and definitely excited about the prospect of an escape to outside, he investigated.

It was a screened in porch, with most of the screening still intact. There was a table with art supplies on it and Sasuke realized the balcony must have at one point served as an art studio.

Naruto, curious as to where Sasuke had disappeared off to, went out the open door onto the porch to see Sasuke sitting on the floor and leaning against the outer railing, his eyes shut and enjoying the cooling breeze.

Naruto sat next to him. Sasuke didn't even open his eyes.

"Feeling better out here?" Naruto asked quietly. Now was the time. It was as good as any other, and the raven seemed to be in an improved mood.

"Hn," Sasuke mumbled. He still had a light sweat upon his brow.

Naruto started sweating a little himself, although it wasn't because of the heat.

"You know how I've been asking a lot about your love life recently?" He began slowly.

Sasuke nodded absently.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I might be attracted to you?"

Sasuke's eyes snapped open at that. No, it had definitely not occurred to him. And from the way Naruto's bright red face that had nothing to do with the heat of the house looked, Sasuke guessed that the 'might' part about Naruto being attracted to him could effectively be scratched out.

Sasuke racked his brain for explanations of what Naruto just said. Was it a joke or a test to see his reaction? Again, looking at Naruto's blushing face that now seemed to be intimately interested in staring at the wall across from him, convinced Sasuke that no, these were not viable explanations. Leaving him with the one that indicated that Naruto was, in fact, attracted to him, and did not just have a parental-type interest in Sasuke's love life.

Sasuke felt his brain explode.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** For those of you wondering, there's only one more chapter after this. So, next up: THE CONCLUSION DUN DUN DUUUUN.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I am not technically allowed to write such things about the Naruto boys. And yet, me and thousands of other fanfiction writers continue to do so. Strange.

**A/N:** Longest story I've written so far. I tend to get distracted. By such things like the week old strawberry Oreo I just found under my desk. Screw writing, the Oreo must be attended to immediately.

To moopad: You have PMs blocked, so I could not answer you through the usual route. In answer to your question, Sakura is all in the past, and Sasuke does not believe Naruto is still interested in her. My apologies if I wasn't clear enough about the situation.

* * *

><p>They hadn't said a word to each other since Naruto's kinda-confession, which made for a fantastically awkward evening. And when they got back that night to their stunning sex palace of a boat, they both demurely took their cold showers to battle the heat (and maybe something else), then went straight to sleep.<p>

Nothing like newly realized awkward sexual tension in ridiculously high temperatures to help fall into a refreshing sleep of course.

The next morning found two very sleep deprived and still awkward boys setting a course for Fraizer's Hog Cay. Naruto spent most of the trip in cranky sleep-needing high tension up by the boat's controls while Sasuke decided the most efficient use of this time was to take a nap on the back deck.

A few hours later, they pulled into the marina on the small cay – Naruto, a bundle of nerves and reserve energy, and Sasuke, looking slightly recovered and strangely calm.

They tied the boat to the dock, still managing to not say a word to each other, although now it seemed as if this was mostly because of the blonde's lack of usual loquaciousness and not because of an active desire from the two to avoid conversation.

Sasuke began hooking up the shore power and water lines. Ah, air conditioning. He could almost feel it. He let a small grin appear on his face which was soon wiped off as he saw his companion simply taking off down the dock.

"Where are you going?" He called out to him. Naruto looked back, startled, before taking a second to answer.

"I'm going to see if there's a restaurant we can eat at tonight."

Sasuke nodded approvingly and went back to obtaining his glorious, glorious air con.

* * *

><p>Much of the day ended up passing in silence. Mostly because Naruto had taken a long nap in the afternoon, and Sasuke was too busy reveling in the magnificence of artificially cooled air.<p>

Dinner had passed in a surprisingly casual way. Both Naruto and Sasuke were feeling much better physically and allowed themselves to behave like normal, joking around and teasing each other.

However, once back at the _Lovin',_ one of the men started to act in a definitely unusual manner.

It started off with Sasuke suggesting they have drink. Not too unusual, but Sasuke was never the type to loiter around after dinner and was always more the type to go directly to sleep after eating.

After finishing off the stock of beer they had bought for the trip, Sasuke headed towards their cabin.

"Let's go to bed," he smirked. Naruto nodded, not looking at him and therefore not catching the mild suggestiveness that the facial expression lent the seemingly innocent sentence.

By the time Naruto made his way inside the room, Sasuke was already curled up under the blankets in bed. Naruto chuckled. Maybe Sasuke like the air con so much because it let him snuggle up in bed.

He made a note to never ever make that idea known to Sasuke as he took off his outer clothes and climbed quietly in besides the dark-haired man, thinking he might already be asleep.

Sasuke was most definitely not asleep, though, and was most definitely lying in wait.

As Naruto settled in and finally stilled, Sasuke snaked out a hand. Naruto had had his back towards him, which quickly changed after Sasuke lightly drew a finger up his spine.

"Uh, Sasuke?" Naruto questioned, now looking at him face-to-face, holding millions of meanings with his unintelligent question of a word.

"Yes?" Sasuke answered, smirking widely now, staring into a very confused -and maybe a little bit excited- blonde's face. Naruto saw the smirk this time.

_Well, Sasuke seems to be in a good mood._ He thought hard about the situation. _So that either means he is playing a really sick joke on me, or he's serious._

But Naruto knew that Sasuke wasn't that much of an asshole. So he leaned forward a little to see what would happen.

Sasuke met him halfway.

Their lips connected in an explosion of emotion, bursting forth with every move of their mouths. They seemed to open their mouths at the same time, deepening the kiss. One of Naruto's hands found its way behind Sasuke's head to bring him infinitely closer, as one of Sasuke's hands reached around to do the same on Naruto's bare back.

Something ignited within them, something they had never felt before, and they began to devour one another. Tired with the awkward sideways position they were laying in, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's waist and rolled the man on top of him.

The new addition to the bodily contact they shared seemed to increase the pleasure they felt and they continued kissing with a more desperate feeling than before.

Sasuke could feel himself and his partner getting hard, and smirked into their heated kisses.

Naruto felt their stiffening lengths as well, and, kissing into Sasuke's smirk, thrust upward ever so slightly.

Both men moaned at the friction, Sasuke bringing his hips down in response to the newfound pleasure.

Naruto began to thrust upward rhythmically, meeting Sasuke's clothed erection with his own in a pattern of wild heat and desire. Sasuke broke the kiss to throw his head back and sit up to get a better angle at keeping up the friction, meeting Naruto's now frantic thrusts with his own, only slightly more controlled movements.

Suddenly, Naruto's timing became even more erratic and he opened his mouth to say something, but Sasuke drove their hips together in a brutally delicious movement, and Naruto's whole body tensed before he violently came, soaking his boxers.

Sasuke watched Naruto's pleasure relieved face and an impossibly pleased smirk began playing on his lips. Naruto opened his eyes to see how Sasuke was staring at him and gave a mock groan.

"I just came in my boxers, didn't I?" He asked, not expecting an answer. Sasuke looked a little too pleased with himself.

"And just from dry humping," he added sadistically. Naruto gave a good-natured smile.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" He laughed. Sasuke pretended to seriously think about it, and Naruto threw on a deviously sexy grin.

"I think there are ways I can convince you not to talk," he whispered huskily as he sat up and leaned over Sasuke, to which Sasuke simply leaned further backwards, pulling Naruto with him until he was laying down with Naruto hovering on top.

* * *

><p>"Why didn't we do this before?" Naruto asked, lying in bed thoroughly exhausted and feeling curious. Now that they'd been together, it seemed rather stupid that it took so long to get where they were now.<p>

"Because the heat on the boat was killing me," Sasuke answered simply from his place beside him. He was especially worn out, considering all the tumbling and groping hadn't been too gentle on his still bruised ass. Naruto let out a laugh.

"No, I mean, why haven't we been going at it like rabbits since we hit puberty?" He clarified. Sasuke let out a genuine grin.

"Why, indeed."

Naruto turned his head to give his best friend a confused look.

"No, seriously. I can't remember why I didn't come onto you earlier," he re-iterated. Sasuke snorted.

"Probably some emo I-don't-want-to-lose-him-as-a-friend shit," Sasuke summed up. Naruto gave a quick laugh before rolling over to throw his arm around his bedmate.

"I'm pretty sure I left the emo stuff up to you," he whispered in Sasuke's ear. "My reason surely had to be more manly. Like fear of rejection or something," he added jokingly. Sasuke graced him with another snort of laughter.

"Doesn't matter really," Sasuke took his turn to whisper. "Because we can just go at it like rabbits all we want now."

Naruto smiled one of those shit-eating grins that Sasuke hated, and they began round two.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** The End. Yaaay. First attempt at citrus-flavoring, so explains why it's spectacularly suck-tastic.

And well, I hate those stories that start out light-hearted and silly and end either serious, mushy, or a combination of the two, so I went with a just plain stupid ending instead. I think it fit.

Possible epilogue if popular demand/my laziness allows for it.

Edit: Laziness won out, as it often does. Sorry, folks.


End file.
